at Sunday 18 March 2007
Take a look...
1)TechSup: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
TechSup: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
TechSup: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
TechSup: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Cust: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2)Cust: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
TechSup: "Did you install the update?"
Cust: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3)Cust: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
TechSup: "Tell me what you've done."
Cust: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
TechSup: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Cust: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
TechSup: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
TechSup: "Did you buy MS word?"
4)Cust: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
5)TechSup: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Cust: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
6)TechSup: "What type of computer do you have?"
Cust: "A white one."
7)TechSup: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Cust: "How do you spell that?"
8)TechSup: "What's on your screen right now?"
Cust: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
9)TechSup: "What operating system are you running?"
10)Cust: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
11)Cust: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
12)Cust: "How do I print my voicemail?"
13)Cust: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
TechSup: "What does it say?"
Cust: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
TechSup: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Cust: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
14)TechSup: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Cust: "Is that Eastern time?"
15)TechSup: "What does the screen say now?"
Cust: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Cust: "How do I know when it's ready?"
16) A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
17)CCO: "I need a product identification no. right now and may I help u in finding it out?"
CCO: Could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Now what do you say??